GAMBLING AS AN ADDICTION

Many do not know that gambling can become an addiction. Gambling addiction can also be called problem gambling or compulsive gambling. This is the urge to gamble continuously despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop.          

According to Wikipedia (2017), problem gambling is often defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others, rather than by the gambler’s behavior. So, harm is not only caused to the gambler but everyone around him or her. When you become addicted to anything, it draws your attention away from God and God is jealous God. You cannot serve God and mammon. So, gambling addiction is against God’s wish.

         

Problem gambling is an addictive behavior with a high comorbidity with alcohol problems. Comorbidity is the presence of one or more diseases or disorder co-occurring with each other. A common feature by people who suffer from gambling addiction is impulsivity (Wikipedia, 2017). Gambling is one of the most insidious of human vices, as it presents the illusion of easy money yet can quickly lead to financial ruin. One thing gamblers fail to understand is that the odds are never in their favour. 

WHAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION TO GAMBLING

·       Stress

·       People want to use gabling as a way of passing time and chance to be in the company of others

·       Convenience. Nowadays, gambling has become so easy and convenient that it is very difficult to resist the temptation especially for men.

·       Depression and alcohol

It is not always easy to identify if someone is a gambling addict, as sufferers tend to be secretive and will generally deny the extent of their gambling. But if someone is spending time alone, is getting into debt for no justifiable reason or frequently wants to borrow money, then it is possible that they have become addicted to gambling and need help.

HOW CAN GAMBLING ADDICTION BE STOPPED

It can happen to anyone. So please share and pass to people. Remember, gambling addiction is a problem and it becomes a higher problem if it causes problem to people around the gambler.

To stop gambling addiction,

• Surround yourself with people to whom you’re accountable
• Avoid tempting environments and websites
• Give up control of your finances (at least at first)
• Find healthier activities to replace gambling

From counseling directory, 10 successful ways to stop gambling

1.    Plan ahead to avoid boredom

Ex-gamblers, so used to the highs and lows of active addiction, typically struggle with periods of boredom in their lives. Try to plan your days so that you are not tempted to fill empty space by gambling.

2.  Live your life one day at a time

This means trying to forget about what happened yesterday, including your gambling losses. A desire to get even with the bookmakers or casinos will restrict your ability to focus on your recovery issues.  Taking your life one day at a time also means not worrying about what tomorrow might hold for you in your life. Keep the focus on what you can do today that will help your ongoing recovery from addiction.

3. Do something completely different

Your brain got used to working in a certain way when gambling, but it still needs to be constantly stimulated now that you have stopped. So try to set yourself new goals and tasks each day. When you are focused on problem solving, you will be better able to cope with gambling urges when they come.

4. Rekindle an old hobby

Invariably, gamblers will lose interest in hobbies as they become more and more addicted to their gambling. After you have stopped, it is important to rekindle old hobbies. This will not only boost your self-esteem but will also provide a regular reminder of your new way of life. It will also keep you focused on the benefits of your new way of life rather than on what you are missing out on.

5. Be especially vigilant leading up to special events

Recognize the need to bolster your resolve when special events approach on the calendar. If you had been a sports gambler, for example, then special events such as football World Cups and European Championships, the Wimbledon tennis tournament, the Cheltenham Festival, Royal Ascot or the Ryder Cup can be particularly challenging. Perhaps you need to avoid the increased hype within the media surrounding these events, especially when bookmaking firms offer special offers.

6. Find ways that help you cope better with stress

Stress is the barometer of how we manage our emotions and can be a major contributing factor in relapse from gambling recovery. It is vital to find new, healthy ways to cope with stress, whether that is physical exercise, meditation or talking to a trusted friend. The risks are that the temptation to gamble will become stronger and stronger as you become more stressed.  

7. Remind yourself that to gamble is to lose

It is important to remind yourself that in the absence of discipline you will almost certainly lose your money, regardless of your betting strategy. This is the fundamental fact of problem gambling. Your gambling urges might appear as seductive temptations when you are undergoing financial worries, especially as most forms of gambling offer the potential of immediate high reward. Reminding yourself that you can’t stop once you start can help you to deal with any urges to gamble.

8. Identify your self-sabotage triggers

Your clean time is precious. See any urge to gambling as a temporary menace and be prepared for them to emerge before special occasions such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries or exam time.

9. Visualize your betting firm or casino with a negative slogan

Associate your betting platform with a negative connotation and imagine a nasty image when you think of the operator's logo. This way you can seek to embed the negative bias of gambling in your sub-conscious. It will also help you to remember exactly how low and desperate you felt when you stopped.

10. Write a daily gratitude list

Staying aware of how better your life is without gambling is vital in any relapse prevention strategy. If this conforms to any spiritual practice then all the better. When we have a grateful attitude, we are less likely to be searching for excitement. Try it, it really works.

Finally, pray about it. Commit it to almighty God in prayer because Luke 1:37 ‘with God all things are possible’

Do not forget to share you views and opinions. Thank you
You can also check out GAMBLING PART ONE and GAMBLING PART TWO

THE TRAVAILS OF JAMES GBENGA OLANIYI - EPISODE FIVE

EPISODE FIVE

       

Rita was now 27 years old and I propose marriage to her and she accepted and her parent were really happy for they have been expecting this for a long time now.  Mr. Ogah wanted my parent available for the marriage so, I took Rita with Edward and headed for Abuja.

10 years had passed since I saw my mum or even came to that area. But, I was able to locate the house but things were not as good as they used to be 10 years ago. Mr. Olaniyi had serious stroke and for five years now, his left side had been useless. The family was practically living off Nike who was now happily married with children. She was the only one who did not believe that I impregnated Vera and was so furious when she learnt what her father had done.

       

There was joy and sorrow at the same time on my mother’s heart as she narrated to me how Vera came to clear my name. Vera gave birth to a baby girl who fell ill two weeks later and needed blood transfusion which can only be given by the father or the baby will die and so Vera had to plead for blood transfusion from the real father of the child, her sister’s husband; the man we all thought was Vera’s father. And so the whole truth came out, Vera was impregnated by her sister’s husband and this made her sister really angry that she killed the man and was arrested and sentenced to life imprisonment. Vera was then left alone with her sister’s children and hers so, she came to my mum and told her the truth before leaving for the village. My mum also told me how my real father now called Moses, came to her to plead for forgiveness for what he did years back and wanted to see me but there was no hope of seeing me as no one knows where I was or what had happened to me. She forgave him even Mr. Olaniyi also forgave him and they promised him to call him whenever I showed up. I also narrated to them all that happened to me, how Mr. Ogah became my father and took good care of me up to the level I was and now I want to marry his daughter. Two months later, Mr. Olaniyi recovered from his ailment.

       

A year passed, Rita and I got married. Our wedding was a remarkable one and never to be forgotten. Lots of friends and well-wishers were present and most of all I had three fathers on that day, Mr. Ogah, Mr. Olaniyi and Mr. Moses.

THE TRAVAILS OF JAMES GBENGA OLANIYI - EPISODE FOUR

EPISODE FOUR

        At age 19, I had to start thinking of how to survive on my own. In tears I fell asleep under a mango tree. I had a dream, I saw a building very beautiful well furnished. It was demolished right in front of me and I was asked to rebuild it to a better structure with better furniture and house hold equipment in it. I wasn’t giving any tool to work with just a shovel. So, I started digging and as I dug, more hands appeared and helped me digging. Then I woke up. I knew that was God answering me.

       

When morning came, I left the city and walked to the next city and the next looking around for a job vacancy. I saw one which read “house help needed”. I went in to the house immediately, I met the mother of the house at home who interviewed me. I narrated my story to her though reluctant to give me the job, she asked me to wait for her husband to be back from work. So I stayed their till evening when her husband returned. He agreed that I should be given the job after all I could do all the house chores and cook. It was a family of six, four children with the father and mother. My life took another new turn as I became bounded to Mr. and Mrs. Ogah and family.

        Two weeks passed by the Ogahs were happy with me. We moved along like a family. Mr. Ogah was transferred to Niger State, so we all had to move to Niger State. Getting transfer for his children was not a big problem as they were on holiday and were to enter a new class by September. Rita the first child, was 16 years and was going to S.S. 3, Peter, 13 years old, was going to J.S 3, Edward, 10 years old, was going to J.S.1 and Victor, 8 years old, was going to primary 4. I went with them to Niger State and I was really becoming a full member of the family.

THE TRAVIALS OF JAMES GBENGA OLANIYI - EPISODE THREE

EPISODE THREE

A period of joy changed dramatically to a period of sorrows and pains for me. I returned from an errand my mum sent me and when I stepped inside the house, I could sense that something was really wrong. There was Vera, her parent and 3 of her friends sitting down in our parlour. When I stepped in, I was asked to sit down, my mum asked if I knew Vera, I replied in the affirmative. I was asked how close we were, “just friends” I replied. Vera’s dad then asked if I knew that Vera was pregnant, I said no. But looking at their faces, I knew they did not believe me. Vera that I had not seen for two weeks was three weeks pregnant and she is accusing me of being responsible for it. I was very much surprised mostly at my mum for believing Vera, for I was very close to her more than my dad and I used to let her in on my secrets. I was questioning Vera for lying on me and my parent for believing her. My parent and I got into a heated argument in front of Vera, her friends who were standing as witnesses and her parent who were threatening to arrest me. I was slapped twice by my dad. With tears in my eyes, I pleaded with Vera to speak the truth but, she was quiet all through. After much heated arguments again, Vera and everybody left our house with the dad promising to bring police to arrest me.

       

My situation went from bad to worst. After Vera with her parent left, my dad began to rain abuses on me, saying I brought disgrace to his name even as he agreed to take me as his sons and am rewarding him with this kind of situation and disgrace to his name he said that and went inside. I asked my mum what that meant and she said I am not Mr Olaniyi’s son. I was shocked and in tears again. She said she was raped by a man called Alhaji Musa, who was her boss then. She became pregnant but the man had denied the allegation even when taken to court. My dad accepted that she kept the child on the ground that the child is only going to be a boy to stay in his house but if a girl, she would be given to the orphanage. And so it was a boy, born after three still births all males. But my dad has not being really happy just for the fact that the first male child from my mum was not his child. When I was discussing with my mum, my dad went inside, took all my Certificate and everything that bears his name and destroyed them by fire. He then ordered me out of his house and their lives forever forbidding me from ever stepping foot in his house again. My younger ones pleaded and pleaded even in tears but my dad was adamant, my elder sister Nike, was not around and so I took few of my clothing’s and left to a world of my own in confusion, anger and pain. I cried to God, but it was as if he too was silent. That night, I went to Vera’s house pleading with her to say the truth and clear my name, but she remained silent, in fact, her father released their dogs on me leaving me to run for my life.

THE TRAVIALS OF JAMES GBENGA OLANIYI - EPISODE TWO

EPISODE TWO

In preparation for my third UME, I started attending JAMB classes. February 2002, there was a heated argument between my dad and me. He called me “money waster” with no future ambition. I was deeply hurt and spoke back at him. He almost disowned me that day. He told my mum to return me back to my father that none of his sons would dare talk back at him like that. All this happened because I was not able to iron his cloth, I was trying to explain to him that there was no light before I left for tutorial class by 4pm. Then he flared up that I am even talking back at him. Everything was settled after two days as things began to move as usual.

       

I practiced so hard for UME 2002 that I began to put some of my friends through in what had become my best subject, Mathematics. That was when I met Vera. Vera was a pretty girl but very hostile especially to boys. I wanted nothing to do with her. But we attended the same church, her house is close to mine and now, we were attending the same tutorial classes. She was not that bright, she and some other of my friends used to come to my house in the morning and we would solve some Maths problems together, study other subjects and meet in the evening to proceed for tutorial class. Vera began to come closer to me which made Johnson jealous because he had an eye for Vera, but she had rejected him on many occasions. I made it clear to Vera that I am not interested in any relationship of any kind and she said there is no problem. I began talking to her about changing her ways and becoming friendly as a lady should be. Her character began to change as she got closer to me and heeded to my advice. I taught her how important it is to study and practice the word of God and stay connected to Him. There was a remarkable transformation going on in her life and I was happy and grateful to God about it.

       

In the month of May 2002, we wrote the UME. We were all highly expecting a very good result and so it was. I had 225, Vera scored 216 some of my other friends scored very high. It was now time to prepare for post-UME. I was very happy. My birthday came and went, I even had a gift from Vera. But all of a sudden, I did not hear from her again. I did not see her in the church, neither could I reach her on the phone. I wanted to check on her at home but I had never been at her place before.